It all started 6 years ago. I was in the 5th grade and my class teachers were planning a school trip to a nearby town. A hundred chatty students were to go there by bus, engage in a little sightseeing and return at night. At that age, getting a monthly visit from a certain bloody friend was quite uncommon so the boys were kept in the dark while my friends and I would talk about it in hushed tones. Getting one’s period was almost frightening and no one was particularly excited about this odd coming of age. So to make us feel comfortable, my teachers asked us to inform them if we got our periods and reassured us that we’d be taken care of.
I got it on the day of the trip but I was okay with it because it wasn’t my first time. I informed a teacher anyway and hopped on to the bus. One of the places of interest in that town was a huge, historic temple. My classmates and I all went inside, marvelled at the carvings (or dug our noses; I don’t remember if we were interested) and stepped out. Just as I did, another teacher pulled me aside and asked me if I had my period. But she used alien words like ‘date’ and ‘chums’ so I just gave her a confused look. She smiled and told me to leave but then I suddenly realised what she meant and replied with a ‘yes’. Her expression changed instantly and in a terrifyingly angry voice, she told me this:
“How did you go inside the temple then? Don’t you know you’re not supposed to? Hasn’t your mother told you that you can’t step inside a temple when you have your period? Call your mother tomorrow, I want to meet her!”
I thought I’d made the largest blunder of my life. I was mortified. My teacher had shamed me for entering the scary world of puberty, just because I’d visited a temple. What kind of human being does that to a harmless child? I apologised and got onto the bus. I was almost in tears the entire ride home. I didn’t understand why my entering a temple was such a big deal when my other friends did it too. I was confused and anxious about what she’d say to my mother the next day. As I frantically told my mom what the teacher had said, a look of disgust crossed her face and she told me to relax. She explained to me that we don’t believe in these things and that I should tell the teacher that the next day. She shrugged off the teacher’s words and told me that it was a dumb superstition. The next day, I didn’t meet the teacher and she forgot all about it.
My mother showed me that getting my period doesn’t make me a bad, abnormal person. But others don’t seem to agree. I see various versions of this incident happening around me every day.
In my friend’s family, when women have their period, they don’t enter the kitchen. They’re not allowed to cook simply because of a biological phenomenon. There’s a woman who works at my house and helps with all the odd jobs. She usually keeps a fast on Mondays (misses one meal or more, of the day, in the name of God) but when she has her period she doesn’t. Neither does she visit the temple. Recently, my aunt was forcing me to attend the neighbour’s pooja but the instant I told her I have my period, she asked me not to come. I was shocked to see the sudden change so I actually became determined on going, but she constantly insisted that I shouldn’t. She told me that it’s disrespectful.
I vehemently hate this. I hate this belief and I hate that women mindlessly follow it and men advocate it. Women are considered sick, impure and untouchable even, when they’re on their period. In some cultures, women are made to sit alone in a room with no human contact for those 6 days. Some aren’t even allowed to enter their homes when they’re menstruating.
I know a well-educated family whose son went to IIT to pursue his studies. Despite this, they don’t allow their maid to enter their house when it’s her time of the month.
So, God obviously hates me when I’m on my period because I can’t hang out with him in a temple, nor can I keep a fast in his name. Food obviously hates me too, because I can’t enter the kitchen to spread some butter on bread. I guess people also hate me because I can’t enter they’re house when they’re praying to God.
So the next time someone asks you not to go to temple or cook pasta when your red friend is visiting, ask them to take a hike. And if you’re a person who has been believing these sick rules for so long:
- Shame on you for making women follow your stone-age way of life and forcing them to feel different and abnormal for a normal scientific occurrence.
- Women don’t contaminate an area or spiritual idea by bleeding. Menstrual blood is not dirty or impure, it’s just made denser by the shedding of the uterus lining and the egg. It’s very similar to normal blood. So if you still believe in your silly custom, I’m sorry but no entering the kitchen or temple when you hit your knee against a sharp corner.
- I really do hope I made you question the mindless superstition you follow and exposed its absurdity.
- If you still strongly disagree with me, I do not apologise for having hurt your “religious sentiments”. Grow up and be open to other points of view.
I refuse to be treated as less capable, weaker, dirty or impure for being a woman. God loves all his children: rich or poor, man or woman, menstruating or not. It’s high time we speak openly about menstruation in India; a country that truly needs to quash its taboos one at a time. I think talking and writing about it freely is the only way we’ll get it done.
I bleed. Deal with it.
-AnishaB
(The above post is my article from the Society Column of the eJournal, Brangled Minds. To check it out, click here.)
January 1, 2015 at 4:44 pm
Amazing & a necessary piece.I liked the way you have used sarcasm to highlight our “mindlessness”.Taboos are kind of routine in India & we don’t even know if are part of any taboo culture until someone says it.Say it & you are the mindless person now.
Very powerful article, a much needed one!
Yours in an interesting blog as well. Looking forward to reading more.
All the best:)
January 2, 2015 at 1:02 pm
Thank you! I’m glad you liked it 😀
January 2, 2015 at 1:00 pm
Dear Ani, well articulated! Please continue to write on topics that you feel strongly about! The indian superstitions are grounded in ignorance n illiteracy, and you are not alone in experiencing a backlash! I remember being told i cannot perform a Durga pooja at home because i am a widow! Now I’m not an idol worshipper anyway, but it still stung!
January 2, 2015 at 1:07 pm
Thank you! Insensitive people say moronic things that aren’t worth listening to.
I’m glad you liked the post and yes, I will continue 🙂
January 2, 2015 at 1:33 pm
Congrats for the simplicity of thoughts word and beliefs….. Good luck 👌👍👍
January 2, 2015 at 6:05 pm
Supprbbb…
January 3, 2015 at 4:46 pm
Thanks 🙂
January 3, 2015 at 10:19 am
S U P E R B ……. to say the least. I can’t find any other war / word to express my feelings. God Bless and may we get many more chances to read many more such wonderful writings from you.
January 3, 2015 at 4:46 pm
Thank you!
January 4, 2015 at 12:38 pm
Hey Anisha,
Absolutely loved your article.
I am the co-founder of Menstrupedia and wanted to re-publish your article on Menstrupedia’s Blog: http://blog.menstrupedia.com/
Can I get your mail ID please.
January 4, 2015 at 12:48 pm
Hi, sure! anisha.bhavnani@gmail.com
Thanks 🙂
January 8, 2015 at 2:52 pm
The cultural taboo about menstruation was a way of moving women from the realm of the sacred to being seen as ‘dirty’ and ‘impure’. In times past a woman was honoured as the bringer of life and her cycle as symbolic of death and rebirth. Women retreated from society during the ‘moontime’, not because they were cast out, but to commune with spirit and bring their insights and wisdom back to the tribe or community. Organised religions have cast women out of the temple and put ‘holiness’ in the hands of men. ‘The Wise Wound’ by Penelope Shuttle and Peter Redgrove is one of the excellent books which documents this.
Thank you for your interesting and insightful post; I look forward to following your blog.
January 13, 2015 at 5:04 am
Wow, thank you for your insightful comment! It makes me think about the pagan religion and worshipping the sacred feminine: things I read in ‘The DaVinci Code’. I’d definitely like to read ‘The Wise Wound’.
I’m glad you appreciate my post 🙂
February 6, 2015 at 5:20 pm
Hello Ani:
Kudos for the article, it was just featured today on CNN’s US website.
Its so funny that me and my wife were having a similar conversation not too long ago. Why is it a taboo? Love your candor and honesty.
If God created everything including humans the creator is also responsible for the ways our body functions, there should not be anything impure or bad about what our body does. In our mythology we don’t just worship one god we have gods and goddesses, why the discrimination is beyond our understanding.
Keep writing, Be Brave and good luck to you. God Bless.
AP
February 6, 2015 at 7:44 pm
Thank you so much! 🙂
And thanks for sharing your opinion, I absolutely agree with you. I really wish more Indians did, though.
Your appreciation means a lot!
February 6, 2015 at 11:53 pm
Anisha, I have thought about this topic and have a different perspective. I am not Indian so my perspective is that of an outsider. My husband is Indian and I am very familiar with the culture. Here’s what I think: really smart Indian women got their period, felt lousy, cramps really suck…. they thought of really smart ways to NOT have to deal with cooking, going to the temple (poojas), and other social obligations. I call it brilliant!
February 9, 2015 at 11:38 am
Haha. It’s very probable that that’s how it started. But when a simple choice is forced as a rule or obligation, it gets annoying. If I’m in perfect shape, even during my period, I can’t be expected to stay at home, and out of the kitchen!
What worked 70 years ago will not work today, and what works today, will not work 70 years later.
February 8, 2015 at 6:59 am
Hi,
I am not much familiar with the etiquette of commenting on blog. (some unknown person commenting out of nowhere)
I read your article on cnn.com and I found it interesting.
And as the comment from the user ‘adriana’ points out, women might have certain physical stress during periods. So, if we look at this from the perspective of convenience, it makes sense the women should not do some stressful activities during those 4-5 days. Better to have some rest.
Also, when we look at how this custom might have started, we can assume that some many years ago, there were not so many facilities (e.g. sanitary pads) available. So, there were chances that women in periods might be unknowingly making some area stained with little blood. (This is just a guess.)
But the problem is when this ‘convenience’ is turned into a social rule/custom. If a girl/woman is feeling perfectly well during periods, there is no reason why she should not be allowed to go to temple or go to kitchen.
I guess, we all have this habit of being afraid of change. Also, after some years, people forget about the main logical reason behind the customs and they just follow it without giving second thoughts.
And lastly, I would say, “Don’t hate. Pity.”
February 9, 2015 at 11:22 am
I absolutely agree with you. When a choice is turned into a rule; a boundary that restricts women from something, is when the problem arises.
February 9, 2015 at 3:16 am
Anisha, fantastic. I shared your article with our entire Faculty team here at Green School in Bali, Indonesia as we are focusing on “V Day” this week with our school. Your voice is so well needed in the world and you inspire others. I see many people on the CNN site are focusing just on India. This issue isn’t an Indian issue but an issue everywhere, just different degrees. As a dad of a daughter I thank you. Keep it up. Thank you.
February 9, 2015 at 11:43 am
Thank you so much! It means a lot to me that you think this way. I can tell that you’re great teacher and father. Thank you. 🙂
February 9, 2015 at 10:24 am
Interesting article. Never heard anything like this from my Indian friends.
Am curious, Is this a cultural thing or religious thing?
February 9, 2015 at 11:35 am
I think the line between culture and religion has smudged a bit, where this is concerned. But probably, it’s more prevalent in certain religions.
February 9, 2015 at 11:44 am
Sad, Mostly from India are stone worshippers. Never saw any logic in doing so.
Glad to know many are shunning the past and looking forward.
February 9, 2015 at 11:11 am
I agree with Adriana and RedXShoes.
True Indian wisdom set these rules so that women rest and recoup during this period. Ancient temples house strong magnetic fields, being under which works negatively for the outflow of blood, c’mon it needs to bleed! It is, more than anything, being open about menstruation and letting the woman rest. The organized religions came later and could not imbibe the wisdom, so they changed it to a bind stigma. I feel bad that your parents are not knowledgeable enough to explain this, and can only ‘shrug it off’.
So please, this is NOT an Indian issue, it is a religious issue. Do no let India down.
And, where else in the world do you hear people speaking OPENLY about it? I live in Europe and its a hush-hush here too…..
February 9, 2015 at 11:55 am
Strong magnetic fields, being under which works negatively for the outflow of blood? What are you even saying? I think you need a good lesson in biology. Negativity has nothing to do with menstruation, Gayathri!
I think it’s sad that a woman like you, living in Europe, believes these things. You’re putting restrictions on your own kind!
What started out as ‘letting the woman rest’ has turned into an oppressive rule. What if I feel fine during my period and don’t want to rest? Should I still be forced to stay at home? What worked 50 years ago will not work today, and what works today, will not work 50 years later. It’s pretty obvious.
According to you, this is a ‘Hindu’ issue. 78% of Hindus existing today live in India. Let that speak for itself.
Let me emphasize one last time: Menstruation is a beautiful sign. It’s a sign that your body is working healthily and that you can have children! Religions should celebrate that.
February 9, 2015 at 2:45 pm
The magnetic field concept of the moon is said to influence women ,,, but nothing convincingly supports it.
ref : http://news.health.com/2014/08/08/4-strange-ways-the-moon-might-affect-our-bodies/
How does a stone temple have magnetic field ?
February 9, 2015 at 2:50 pm
Seems you have a devils advocate and I find it really interesting….
https://mythrispeaks.wordpress.com/2014/03/26/menstrual-taboos-and-ancient-wisdom/
February 10, 2015 at 12:59 am
Hehehe
I am imagining the door man approaching ” may I check your underwear please?” Ok You can go in now!
February 10, 2015 at 7:55 pm
Good Work… Keep going…Its high time that everyone stop the idiotic stuffs which lets the women down…
February 10, 2015 at 11:05 pm
Actually there is a theory behind why women are not allowed to enter temples nor kitchen during their menstrual cycle.
Temple is a place with lots of positive energy and during the menstrual cycle , women have the ability to absorb max energy. Since too much of any energy is dangerous ( can cause cancer or worst case turn us into women Hulk may be… ) women weren’t allowed to enter temples for their own goodness!
Also, during the menstrual cycle , many women experience a lot of pain and lot of blood loss. In earlier days, we did not have any grinder/juicer to do the appropriate work. It was all women doing the work themselves manually with the help of very few instruments. In order to avoid such hectic acts, women were asked to stay away from kitchen!!
Not Everything our Ancestors taught us and we follow as culture are meaningless!!!
February 11, 2015 at 3:05 pm
I would like to see the proof of this statement of ‘ positive ‘ energy in temples. When God does not reside in buildings of stone or wood! The only Temple He is to abide/live in, is this body, sanctified by belief in Christ.
February 12, 2015 at 8:36 pm
Well said Bar-Elohim. It’s the energy you bring to the place. So many people stand around in temples after the arti is done with and gossip…that’s not positive energy Priya!?
February 14, 2015 at 8:49 am
Christ had a lot of positive energy , hence is remembered still for his work.
The concept of purity , positive energy is not just by saying your believe someone or something . Its more of what you eat,what you say, how you feel physically , spiritually and mentally.
Anything with positive energy is god for me, be it avatar of Vishnu,Shiva or Shakti,Jesus,Mother Mary,Allah, Atom, Molecule.
February 12, 2015 at 10:43 am
Anisha,
While I agree nowadays it is archaic and outdated, there was a reason why it was so in the olden days. This is what I had heard from my old folks at my place
1. In olden days there were no convenient ways for trapping the blood flow. Tampons and napkins are relatively new. So it is used to be difficult to do household work without spilling around. Especially during pooja time where everything is supposed to be clean.
2. In the initial 3 days, usually it is heavy flow and the woman is physically in strain & also some women have mood swings. Putting her go through heavy household work was not recommended
3. This was seen as an opportunity by the women to take a well deserved rest so that their body has the time to recover.
4. During menstrual cycle, sexual activity is also not recommended. Hence, keeping the lady isolated keeps her away from being compliant to such demands.
Hence, in olden days during the cycles, the woman used to be not allowed to do anything so that she gets refreshed.
It is indeed sad, that during modern times this is misinterpreted & we land into situations where teacher tells the student to get out of the bus!! That is indeed not acceptable & folks should realise why the rule was actually there for
February 12, 2015 at 1:56 pm
This write up is impressive and I suppose things may seem oppressive in some ways. However, you are in no position to disrespect the beliefs of others. I understand why you feel the need for equality as I am a feminist myself but you are denouncing centuries of cultural beliefs in a couple of paragraphs as if it’s that simple. It’s almost like when non Muslims speak as if they know how Muslim women feel about wearing the hijab. If you do not practice it, fine. Why the need to force your choices upon others who clearly feel uncomfortable? Let’s be real though, does it really matter if you can’t go to a temple or pray when you have your period? I personally think one can pray without the presence of idols and pictures because God lives within us all.
February 13, 2015 at 3:43 am
Things ‘may’ seem oppressive in ‘some’ ways? Some women are forced to stay in a dark place for 7 whole days until they’re done menstruating.
When a cultural belief (that probably made sense centuries ago) gets that twisted and suppressive, honestly, someone has to speak up about it!
And your comparison about non-muslims and muslims is a little irrelevant. Here, I AM an Hindu. I AM being forced to follow some practices that I don’t like, and that many women and men don’t like either. So, we have every right to make an attempt to let our voices be heard.
Menstruation is probably an uncomfortable topic in many countries, which is why it’s important to talk about it.
Robert, it’s not about only praying in a temple. Personally, I agree with your last sentence. But as I mentioned earlier, that’s not the only restriction placed on a menstruating women. Sadly, there’s an entire list. Read thisisrids’ comment. A woman can’t touch clean, folded clothes or even touch another person when he/she’s holding God’s food, because she’ll sully it. She has a layer of filth on her skin that no one but God can see.
February 12, 2015 at 8:36 pm
Anisha, I absolutely loved this article. You are wise beyond your 18 years…well done for standing up and writing so honestly. India needs more women like you x
February 14, 2015 at 1:02 am
This is a very stupid rule followed by the certain religions who are still in stone age. shameful..!! We know that our sisters can go to Christian church any day any time..! Nobody will stop you for any reasons whatsoever.
Can you believe that there are few temples where girls/ladies aged between 12 and 50 are not allowed to enter (thinking about the cycle). Check it out and bring those topics in front of the public as well.
February 14, 2015 at 5:26 pm
Christian do prohibit women from communion , Christianity follows many principles similar to other abrahamic , Islam and Judaism , who also prohibit women from praying during the cycle.
February 15, 2015 at 7:39 pm
Hi,
I have read the article….I work in the field of science in religious rituals of Ancient India. The modern trend of practice is not allowing women during menstrual period inside the temple. But it was not a practice followed proto-Vedic period ( at least 2500 years ago). Women were worshipped during that period for their fertility. It was a time when the society considered that women needs to be protected during that vulnerable period. Later as culture forwarded and the concepts were adulterated because of politics to control women’s influence in society. Particularly during the period of Moguls. The ritual of not allowing women into the kitchen is also followed in Orthodox Jewish families as well. In India it is followed in Bramin family. Rest of the Indian population hardly follow this ritual. It is known fact during the menstrual period estrogen levels are fluctuated. So the PMT is normal. I have experienced these issues with my female co-workers. We men all understand this. We men in general don’t have any issues with. As you rightly said we are actually kept in dark. I still remember when my childhood sweet heart was not allowed to play with me anymore, I was upset. She as well… but we are from different times and different value system…
February 22, 2015 at 6:13 am
You’ve done a great job!
Loved this article!
March 14, 2015 at 2:42 am
pls get ur facts right before u comment on sensitive matters. Am sad that u r mom didn’t explain u well. But it shocked me to see that u didn’t take time to do some research before posting something online. I am not going to explain u why u r wrong. But if u take this serious pls do some research on why women are not allowed in the temple. And find the real reason by your self. And if u realize our religion is the way of life pls do write another article to CNN.
March 26, 2015 at 9:46 am
I can not agree with you more! Hit the nail on the head and something I have been saying for many years. Unfortunately this isn’t something that is happening in India alone, many of my friends that have been born and raised in the UK in the 21st century follow and believe this is the way women should live it is ridiculous! I am lucky my family do not follow these absurd “man made” rules!!